SZA’s CTRL & the “Male” Perspective

           

            As we all know SZA’s recent album, CTRL, caught a lot of attention, positive comments and negative ones too. I was one of those people who listened to the album and fell in love, I had my least favorites, but overall, I think it is a work of art. There is, however, the opposing side. While I have met men who applaud SZA’S recent album, I have heard comments that rubbed me the wrong way for one reason or another. Yet, we are ALL entitled to our opinions; I would just like to explore the psychology of what I heard in my own words.

            I was being heavily inaugurated by my guy friends on the Jay-Z album, 4:44, and great album might I add. But as the album continued to repeat songs over and over, the metaphorical DJ changed the music and the tunes so happen to land on SZA. I thankfully acknowledged the DJ, it was met with dissent by the guys because I guess they felt like it was Jigga time and nothing else should play. One of them began to comment about SZA’s album, I don’t want to misquote anything but he basically said why does she need to be so feminine, that raised my eyebrows. Then he goes on to say she could’ve have used more intellect and said and I quote this, “I don’t like her message.” Then he makes a loose comment about how her album is all about self but she’s going through all this, hmmmm. I was just rubbed the wrong way entirely about his sentiments on the album and maybe I’m sensitive, but let me explain.

            Let’s start with the “feminine” statement. If a woman is not feminine, would her secondary option not be masculinity. In which case, I don’t want to make any assumptions, but based on the character of this particular male friend, I am sure a masculine woman or lesbian would make him uncomfortable as well. So why is a woman being feminine an issue? Does she not have a vagina? It was such an oxymoron to me, or maybe he was the moron. It seems to me that the sexual repression of women is not dead, not that I thought it was, but it was a sore reminder. The sexuality of a woman is glorified for the male benefit, however, as soon as a woman reclaims her sexuality and is bold about it, men or perhaps, boys are intimidated. ‘It’s too much, tone it down.’ Maybe I’m reading too deeply into it, yet history has proven to me that men rather control the perception of female sexuality as opposed to seeing us embrace it. I didn’t create that history, it was already in existence and I’m just calling out the programming when I hear the automation.

            Furthermore, what requires more intellect other than speaking about the experiences that shaped you and your life to what it is today? It’s called emotional intelligence, it just goes to show how far from understanding women that not only he is, but so many other ‘men’ are, because every women has either been through a few, if not all of those experiences and/or feelings. CTRL is a tribute to womanhood, especially Black woman, SZA opened up about experiences that as a woman I know were riddled with pain, humiliation, anger, and low self-esteem, yet she pushed through it to let us know that we can all get through that storm. If you missed it, there’s the message! It’s about a young Black woman in her 20 somethings going through fucked up relationships, having sexual desires, wanting to be wanted, feeling rejected, getting revenge, and revealing the ups and downs of her age and gender group. Sorry, not sorry. It just doesn’t get much more intellectual than that, the lack of respect for the female experience is frustrating to me. It is the reason for feminism, which is truly just the respect and appreciation for all expressions and experiences of womanhood.

            The level of openness that SZA succumbed to for this album is remarkable to me and quite frankly, I find it disappointing that she goes unappreciated as a Black woman by a Black man and artist. Not only did I perceive his comments as attacks against her art, but I took it personal as a woman because numerous women have had these experiences whether or not you’re aware of it or accept it. Everything that SZA touched on, showed us her at a point in time when self-love, respect, and realization was lacking and provides a reminder to every woman that there’s still power in being a woman. Regardless of society’s marginalization of women and the double standards that minimize our freedom to be, SZA reminds us that we are allowed to have flaws, mess up and still grow.

            I find it unfortunate that there are still men who cannot appreciate the strength that it takes for a woman to reveal themselves like this. It makes me wary of the type of men I share certain information with about myself. Some men are still boys at heart and are content with the exploitation of women by male artists, yet it is never acceptable for those roles to reverse. Women are regularly objectified for profit in the media, God forbid a woman be bold about being a woman! Where’s the message in that?

            Jay-Z, the drug dealer was highly exalted, but now SZA doesn’t have a good message. Keep in mind, she’s not encouraging any sort of bad behavior; she’s reminiscing about her past experiences and sharing the pain that entrapped her. We know Emery did a bid for Jay and that’s cool, in the streets, that is what it is, but if it’s not about getting money, it’s not relevant? Is Jay-Z building his empire with drug money not sending a certain kind of message? I’m rolling my eyes so hard right now. I’m just putting it out there because I want the double standards to be clear so no one thinks this is purely personal, I thought long and hard about why I was upset about it.

Signed,

Another Mad Black Woman!